If you’re wondering how to disciple your children, start by pointing them to Jesus in the ordinary rhythms of everyday life —through your presence, simple family devotions, honest conversation, and steady prayer.
Discipling your children takes many different shapes, and it doesn’t require a flawless devotional time or a theology degree. It mostly takes you: walking with your kids and letting them watch you follow Jesus. If that feels intimidating, you’re in good company. Many fathers carry a heavy weight asking, “How do I do this well?”—especially if they were never discipled themselves. But here is the encouragement to hold onto from the start: God chose you specifically for your kids, and He will walk you through this.
Discipling Your Children Doesn’t Have to Look One Way
I love this topic because God is the Great Discipler, our true Father, the one who does this with us before we ever try to do it with our kids.
I know how heavy this topic can feel for parents. So many of us carry this weight of asking, “How do I do this well?” I think a lot of us feel the discouragement that comes from believing discipleship has to look one certain way. Maybe you have this picture of your kids sitting quietly in reverence while you preach them a message. The reality is, discipleship takes a lot of different shapes.
Here’s a hard truth I’ve had to sit with: a lot of us never got discipled ourselves. Nobody sat us down and said, “Here’s what it looks like to follow Jesus.” So, when someone stands up and says, “Go disciple your kids,” it feels intimidating and scary. We’re not sure what we’re even supposed to pass on.
I had a dad who modeled some of this really well. I learned servant-heartedness from him. I learned something I call “with-ness.” But when I started having kids of my own, I asked myself two questions: “What does God want?” and “What do I wish I’d had when I was their age that I can offer them now?” That’s really where I started.
I’ll be honest, I made a lot of mistakes early on. If my kids weren’t sitting there for family devotions, I thought something was wrong with my parenting. I had it backwards. I was viewing it through the lens of American Christianity instead of Jesus’s lens. Every dad disciples his kids in some form. The question is whether we’re discipling them toward Jesus or toward something else, because they’re being shaped no matter what.
Bring Them Along: Disciple Through Everyday Time Together
One of the simplest ways to learn how to disciple your children is to look at how Jesus lived. My dad did this well, too. He’d bring me along, even just to run errands. It didn’t always mean deep conversation. There’s something in that “with-ness” itself that disciples a kid.
My friend Nathan told me a story about his own dad that stuck with me. His dad had a pretty boring administrative job, nothing flashy, but he invited Nathan to come along one day. Nathan said he felt so special just to be included, even though nothing exciting happened. That’s the whole point. Our kids don’t want our stuff nearly as much as they want us. I’ve wrestled with that as a man, wanting to provide things for my kids the way other families seem to. But they don’t need all that. They want time. They want to be around us.
I have five kids, ages seven to 18.
When they were little, “bringing them along” looked like singing a song while we walked, or pointing out a cross somewhere and asking, “Who does that remind us of?” As they’ve gotten older, it’s shifted into deeper conversation. My boys helped me with something recently and afterward we just talked. What did you learn today? What’s God showing you? Little questions along the way.
I want to normalize Jesus in conversation in my home. We can talk about sports all day, and there’s nothing wrong with that, but we’ve discipled a generation to be college football fans more than followers of Jesus. We have the opportunity to set the tone for our homes. I want the tone of my home to be set on Jesus.
Family Devotions Don’t Have to Be Fancy: Simple Ways to Disciple Your Kids at Home
If you’re wondering how to disciple your children at home, I’m a big fan of family devotion time, and it can be really simple. When my kids were little, it was mostly storytelling. I remember acting out the arrest of Jesus with my son Gavin when he was about a year and a half. I told him the shirt was coming off and he was going to run through the house just like Mark did in that story. To this day it’s still his favorite devotional.
Keep it simple.
- Tell the story
- Thank Jesus
- Pray
You don’t need seven points.
I used to get frustrated when devotions didn’t go according to plan. I thought I was failing. I had to repent of that and just let it be fun. God blessed that over time far more than my forced version ever did.
And here’s something I believe in deeply: pray over your kids. Not just structured devotional times, but bedtime prayers, prayers as they run around the house, prayers under your breath while you’re stretching in the morning. Partnering with God in this is not optional; it’s needed. I still don’t fully know what I’m doing after 18-plus years of parenting, and I need Him daily.
Let Your Kids See You Follow Jesus—Even With Your Phone
Our kids watch us. That includes our phones. I’m not saying phones are evil, I read my Bible on mine plenty. But our kids need to see us crack the Word open. Early on, I got up before everyone else so I could have quiet time with God, and when my kids woke up and interrupted it, I saw it as a problem. I was wrong. They need to be brought into that time. It’s just as valuable, maybe more, than the time I get alone.
When Your Child Walks Away From the Faith
This is the question that guts a lot of parents. What if my kid strays from the faith? What if they already have?
My own mom walked through this with me and my brother in high school. She told me something years later that changed how I pray. She said she stopped praying “Lord, keep them safe” and started praying “Lord, give them a heart to love you.”
If your kid has strayed, remember Luke 15. The father in that story didn’t chase the prodigal down. He waited, and watched the road. Your job isn’t to fix your kid through force or fear. It’s to keep loving them, keep speaking truth when they ask for it, and keep waiting on the porch.
I’ve watched dads nearly destroy their relationship with a straying kid because they were trying to defend God, defend the faith, or win the argument. I don’t think that’s the way. Parent by faith, not by fear. Fear says change them today. Faith says love them and trust God with the outcome.
Build yourself a prayer team, not just for your marriage or your ministry, but specifically for your kids. Find one person, one couple, one guy you trust, and ask them to pray for your children by name. I know reaching out for that feels strange. Do it anyway. I heard about someone who prayed 24 years before God woke their child up and brought them home. Don’t give up on year three.
You’ve Got What It Takes to Disciple Your Children
I want to leave you with this. God chose you for your kids. Not some other person who might seem better equipped. You. When you feel weakest, when you don’t know what you’re doing, humble yourself and ask Him for help. In due time He lifts us up.
Galatians 6 says don’t grow weary in doing good, because at the right time we’ll reap a harvest if we don’t give up. So keep going. He hasn’t left you, and He’s going to walk you through this His way.
One last thing. Discipling your children is baton-passing at its most personal—you’re handing your kids a living faith to carry long after you’re gone. If you want help thinking through how to pass on what God has given you to the people closest to you, downloading our free Baton Passing Relationships resource is a great next step.
